Ever encountered a TOAT?

I’m sure most people don’t wake up in the morning and intentionally think ‘Who can I annoy today?’

To some people it just comes naturally.

An individual who I can find to be particularly annoying is what I affectionately call a TOAT. They’re people who Talk Only About Themselves.

You rarely have a conversation with a TOAT. It’s more like attending a one man (or woman) show, where the spotlight is solely on them and you are merely the audience. You end up knowing a lot about them – but it’s unlikely they know much about you.

Now I understand that for a lot of people their favourite subject can be themselves. But perhaps it would benefit our relationships with others if we at times withdrew from centre stage and allowed someone else the spotlight.

You see, TOATs have one big problem. They lack self awareness. Maybe they’re blessed with friends who are good listeners, or whose lives are less exciting than theirs.

Fine.

But I’ve yet to come across a relationship that wouldn’t have benefitted from some mutual sharing, and where listening isn’t just simply waiting for your turn to talk.

Maybe we’ve all fallen into the trap of being a TOAT at times. I know I have. But hopefully it’s only occasionally.

I don’t want to make a career of it.

What about you?

Remember to share the spotlight.

Paul

The SUMO Guy

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